


The Butcher Army regrets trying to interrogate Philza

by stoneanimal1912



Series: DreamSMP/MCYT: Storymode AU's [1]
Category: Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: AU, DreamSMP - Freeform, philza - Freeform, things go differently
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-28
Updated: 2020-12-28
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:54:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,438
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28371234
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stoneanimal1912/pseuds/stoneanimal1912
Summary: “I don’t care how many times I have it say it. I’ll say it until it gets through your thick head! I won’t tell you where he is.”“Not even for your grandson?”He kept his sword pointed at Quackity while he turned his attention to Fundy.
Series: DreamSMP/MCYT: Storymode AU's [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2085198
Comments: 5
Kudos: 162





	The Butcher Army regrets trying to interrogate Philza

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I have nothing to do with the DreamSMP, the script of the DreamSMP, or the characters/people on the DreamSMP.
> 
> This is just a fan-fic of the character/minecraft skins and a different telling of the events that happened.

Philza glanced out the window as he bustled about in his house, rearranging and organizing his chests. Thanks to a message from a friend of his, he knew all about the ‘Butcher Army’ that Quackity convinced Tubbo to form in order to ‘bring Technoblade to Justice’, when in reality it was just Quackity being petty and holding a grudge, as well as a ploy for power, considering Quackity would be the one leading it.

He also knew that they were going to visit him sometime today to try and have him tell them where his oldest son was, which was why he was reorganizing and organizing his chest. 

So anything of value or importance, like his compass to Techno’s house, was going into the basement he built. It was also very easy to hide the entrance and exit, so no one was any wiser to it.

_“So what if the coral is sticking out of the water, It’s not like anyone is going to look underneath my house for anything_ ” He thought and grouched to himself when it was pointed out to him.

He already sent Techno a warning, so even if they manage to find him, which was honestly doubtful, he should be ready. After putting things in his basement and covering it up, he heard the doorbell being pressed repeatedly. 

“One moment! I’m coming!”

“ _Alright, Philza! Time to pull out your acting skills!”_

He blinked in surprise and smiled, “Ah, Hello there gentlemen! What can I do for you? Oh? What’s with get up, Fellas?”

Said ‘get up’ was white aprons with blood on them. All but Ranboo had them on. It was slightly disturbing, but he couldn’t let them know that he knew, not yet at least.

“I got a job!”

“Yea, we were cooking!”

“We were- we were cooking.”

“Potatoes. We were cooking, uh, red potatoes.”

“Potatoes?”

“ _Really? Cooking potatoes was the best they could come up with?”_ He thought to himself as the others voiced their agreement and tried to give him a false explanation. 

“Red potatoes!”

“Oh you mean sweet potatoes!”

_“Yeah because that makes total sense!”_

“Uh, Phil, do you mind if we come in?”

“Oh! Sure thing! Come on in!”

He didn’t drop his smile until they were all inside. He was standing in the center of the house with the four of them in a semi-circle around him.

“So, I’ll ask again. What can I do for you gentlemen?”

“Philza Minecraft! I demand that-”

“Quackity! I said to let me do the talking!”

“...”

“Now Philza, you know that Technoblade committed war crimes against L’manburg during the war, right?”

“Yea, I do know that. But the war’s over, so what about it?”

“Well, he was never punished for them and we need you to tell us where he is so he can be brought to Justice for them.”

“ _Hmm. Ok. Facade’s over. Time to get serious.”_

He sighed and lowered his head so that his hat covered his eyes and shadowed his face. It was times like this where he missed his elytra. It always worked to add onto the intimidation.

“I’m afraid I can’t do that for you boys.”

“Philza, on behalf of L’manburg’s President, I demand that you tell us where Technoblade is!”

“And I said, I’m afraid I can’t do that for you boys. And by the way, Fundy, You’ve got some blood on your face.”

“W-what? No! It’s just sweet potatoes!”

“ _Don't_ lie to me **!** ” He glared at the four of them.

“I know what blood looks like, Fundy. And for your information, sweet potatoes aren’t red, they’re orange.”

“Philza, please. Just tell us where he is so we can bring him to Justice!”

He turned his attention to Tubbo.

“I won’t tell you where he is!”

“Philza Minecraft! As a citizen of L’manburg, shouldn’t you want him to be brought to Justice? He literally set off two Withers and TNT! He’s betrayed L’manburg and destroyed it! Are you just going to ignore that?! This is not a request! This is a demand! Tell us where Technoblade is!”

He equipped his armor and sword, pointing it at Quackity.

“Oh, woa-”

The Butcher Army equipped their armor in response.

“I don’t care how many times I have it say it. I’ll say it until it gets through your thick head! I won’t tell you where he is.”

“Not even for your grandson?”

He kept his sword pointed at Quackity while he turned his attention to Fundy.

“ _Especially_ not for you! Do you realize that you’d be going to kill your Uncle!?”

“Woah, woah, woah! Who said anything about killing!? Philza, we just want to put him on trial and-”

“Bring him to Justice? I know. But what exactly is that Justice, Tubbo?” 

He kept his eyes on Fundy.

“Well it’s- Well it’s…..” In his peripheral vision, he saw as Tubbo paused, thinking. As the seconds ticked by, he seemed to deflate. 

“Exactly. Now Ranboo, before I start on a history lesson for all of you, you’ve been awfully quiet. Is there anything you’d like to say?”

“Uh, no. Not really.”

“Oh, but I have plenty to say to you-” Quackity paused in his tracks as he glared at him.

“First off, did you know that Wilbur was the one to set off the first round of TNT that destroyed L’manburg? Did you know that my second son lost his sanity over this nation and asked me to kill him? Hm?” 

He pushed his sword right under Quackity’s chin. He kept it there as he turned his gaze back onto Tubbo.

“Secondly, Tubbo, you _exiled_ my youngest son, Tommy, _who was your best friend_ , from his own home that he fought so hard with Wilbur for, all because of a prank gone wrong? _Because Dream said so_!?”

Tubbo’s eyes went wide and glossy.

“It was to save L’manburg!”

“L'manburg isn't f**king worth saving! Not with the pain that it's brought to my family! Now, let’s talk about the fact the Techno made it very clear he was against all government. He helped the cause, gave you supplies, and what do you do? Form another government and cast him aside. You used him and have the _guts_ to call him a traitor, when really you betrayed him?”

“How dare you-”

He whipped his head around to look at Fundy. He equipped his axe in his other hand and pointed it at him.

“NO! How dare _you_ , Fundy! I’m disappointed in you! You want to kill your Uncle! For what? For things he did when this nation’s people used him as a weapon!? For things he did when he was hurt and sad because his own two brothers were the ones who turned on him after all he did for them?!”

Fundy’s ears flattened against his head as he took a step back,looking scared and ashamed. Philza was practically yelling at the end of it, and probably looked absolutely terrifying as well, decked out in full enchanted netherite as he was.

He took a deep breathe to calm down some and unequipped his weapons, but not his armor and pointed to his door.

“Out. Get out. I want you all to get the f**k out of my house.”

“ARGH! TAKE THIS OLD MAN!”

He equipped his shield and blocked Quackity’s attack with ease. At this point his anger had completely taken over.

“You just made a _big_ f**kin’ _mistake_ , Quackity. Technoblade may be the Blood God now, but I was the Blood God before him. That power and strength of his? He got it from me. I may not be able to beat him nowadays, but I sure as hell can crush you like a bug.”

He shoved Quackity to the ground.

“Now, leave before I give in to my anger and f**king kill you.”

Quackity shakily got up and ran out of his house, the other members of the Butcher Army quickly following suit. 

He picked up a book dropped by one of the Butcher Army members.

‘ _Sorry for the inconvenience, friend. I’ll keep you posted on their movements.’_

“It’s quite alright, Ranboo. I really do appreciate you doing this for me. It’s really nice to have someone on the inside. Saves us some trouble.”

He unequipped his weapons and armor, and then got some food and supplies from his chest. He removed the barrel that covered the entrance to his basement and entered it. Once at the bottom he opened the door that led to the sewers and catacombs of the SMP.

“Now, time to get Techno to show me where Tommy is.”


End file.
